Jeepers Creepers: Reborn

I watched <i>Jeepers Creepers: Reborn</i> during its limited theatrical run, so my review below will reflect this.

The film began with a long-winded thank you for the film’s director, Timo Vuorensola, who was incredibly grateful for this opportunity and the people he worked with. I understand it’s a troubled franchise (not his fault) due to the previous director/writer, and it was filmed during a global pandemic, but I was still open-minded to the fact that we were getting a new <i>Jeepers Creepers</i> film, even after the ridiculous <i>Jeepers Creepers 3 </i>that he had nothing to do with).

(<b>There are spoilers ahead from this point on, so please proceed with caution)</b>

The film begins in literally the same exact format as the first <i>Jeepers Creepers</i> film. An elderly couple (these days, I feel like Dee Wallace will do anything for a paycheck) driving down a road, and who are then speeding and being tailgated, bumper to bumper, by the Creeper’s truck, a big, red truck with the signature BEATINGU license plate. The couple witnesses the Creeper do his usual body-dumping exercise down that same long pipe, and actually turn around to check it out. Bad decision, of course. Long story short, the couple becomes part of an <i>Unsolved Mysteries</i> type of thing, and then we’re introduced to the two main characters, Laine and Chase. Laine, played by Sydney Craven (cool name) and whose British accent slips multiple times throughout the film, is traveling with her boyfriend Chase to a festival in Louisiana where legend of the Creeper keeps this town on the map (Honestly, I’ve seen photos on Twitter and maybe BuzzFeed of a Furry Festival that looked better than this).

On their way to this festival, Laine and Chase stop at a thrift shop and eventually ask for directions. The shop’s owner, a Class A Weirdo, senses something (literally) in Laine, makes a call on a rotary phone (this film takes place in 2021), and warns of her arrival.

After some hotel room filler, the couple make their way to… Oh, I forgot to tell you about the part where the Creeper wakes up from its slumber. Yeah, that happened and it was a painful (as in incredibly boring) watch. It kills one of their friends who stopped in the woods and walked too far (really far) to take a piss on some random tree. He could’ve opened the car door, did his business, and sped off (and saved us from this pathetic scare attempt/kill).

Back to the festival. Upon arrival to this not so big event, Laine and Chase are greeted by a Westboro Baptist Church-like group who just give creepy stares. Also in attendance is the Creeper, who manages to steal back some of his weapons from a game showcase. No one at the festival notices, so, yeah, there’s that. There is another kill, this time the festival’s MC, so we’re introduced to another character, a video blogger, and two acquaintances who are not worth the character space.

Fast forward to the “exciting” bits, Laine wins a rigged contest, an escape room event in the Creeper’s house/lair. Once there, the video blogger’s cameraman is killed offscreen (his mangled body eventually turns up) and Laine and Chase get into a small argument because Chase gave the video blogger more attention than her.

After a brief argument, Chase begins to propose to Laine, but she is suddenly swept away by the Creeper, resulting in Chase becoming emotionally upset and enraged (to be honest, I think this was a blessing. You’re free, Chase!). After running back to the group to alert them, they find the cameraman's body and run into the abandoned home. In the Creeper’s lair, it begins to poke at Laine’s stomach (she’s pregnant by the way), and then flies away.

The group are now stuck in this big home. Suddenly, the doors are locked by the weirdo shop owner, the same person who chose Laine as the winner of this escape room contest, and a few other cult-like members who are wearing black robes. This was a big place, and the characters couldn’t find a single way out? Lame.

(Fast forwarding because this film sucks)

Eventually, Laine escapes, finds Chase and the group, and they begin to get picked off one by one.

(More fast forwarding)

It turns out that this cult, I think, works for the Creeper and provides it sacrifices. It was interested in Laine’s baby, but not enough details went into this… as I was too busy looking at stock market news like the other 15 people in attendance (a handful walked out after 30 minutes of this garbage).

(More spoilers)

Anyway, the people inside the home (that are left) fight back, the Creeper gets a few punches in, they use Laine as bait, the Creeper gets impaled by some object from the roof that’s dropped on it (and looks dead), and then a swarm of crows come and cause chaos. Finally, the cops arrive and put Laine and Chase in the car, no questions asked, most likely arresting them for accepting their offers to appear in this film.

The film ends with the Creeper screaming at the camera. Terrible makeup once again.

Now, let me give you ever damn pain point about this film.

The Creeper is wearing a Party City Halloween clearance bin costume whose price is reduced 99% on November 1st. The makeup lacked effort and the special FX was terrible. The Predator-like visuals also did not help one bit in this disastrous film. The previous Creeper was fantastic, and I know I shouldn’t compare the two, but, if you see this film, which I hope you don’t, you’d understand.

Each character deserved whatever outcome they received, especially for accepting their role in this film. There was no chemistry between any of the characters, especially when it came time to pair up. Laine and Chase had no chemistry (At first, I thought they were friends, not in a very serious relationship). There was absolutely no chemistry between them, which hurt any potential this film had (which it had none of).

This is the first film in a planned trilogy. As someone who barely made it through Hebrew school and knows nothing about religion, I pray that this is the last Jeepers Creepers film.