Will & Harper

last year, i watched this when it came out.
today, i watched it after I came out.

its been a rocky 6 months.
i've qeustioned myself and others around me.
i could say so much, in the behavior of my family and the pipeline of transitioning.
i've explored allot even when i get pushback, i've tried dresses and i loved it. im not saying everything i've done is perfect and it did make me think about if it really is true what i've been told. that people on social media who actively support me are just an echo chamber, that there is no pushback because everyone tells me what i wanna hear.

but, i can't live like this. i can't sit there and still play a fictional role that doesn't exist anymore.
they don't believe im a girl? so be it. they think im reckless and to fast? so be it.
look, i've talked about my family allot and i still love them but whats actually a healthy pipeline to transitioning, getting a gender therapist or just overall getting there? its not just telling your kid to just wait out for a couple of years. "hey, you are still a boy to us and you are gonna stay one for a few years until the medical facility gets to ya"

everything is kinda just falling apart. i once was seeking out validation in a place that i shouldn't have sought that out.
i begin to despise my family for their harmful treatment of the matter.
i can't buy girl clothes, i can't call myself mandy but i do it anyway because thats important to me.
there is a time where, yes, you should give the people around you space but they aren't entitled to say what you can and can't do.

i've cried a bunch while watching this documentary because allot of is relatable.
yes, i've felt like a monster. yes, i've thought about killing myself even tho im afraid of that. i've qeustioned my existence over and over and over again because why and how can people that love me the most do this to me?
how are you gonna call what im going through "exploring" when you don't even let me explore anything at all?

i haven't felt fully at peace ever since even tho i've discovered who i truly am.
for me, in retrospect it was always obvious even when some things sound contradicting. i got told by my mom that i once ran to her crying because one of my friends was trans or just very masculine when he was still seen as a she while at the same time thinking daily about being a girl in a fantasy of mine. little kids wouldn't even understand what that would mean.
my first ever experience with the horror genre was the childs play films which were conceived by a gay man. one of the shows i was obsessed over a few years back was the owl house, a show with heavy lgtq representation. and then i started obsessively....obsessing over nicolas cage, which, i still am. thats not automatically saying things but with how everything turned out, looking back, its very apparant i am not straight nor was i ever....i just didn't know myself for many years.
i remember allot of the times picking the female characters in video games i played. its those little things i remember that all make sense.

what im trying to say is, after living on this wasteland for 16 years, i've figured out but no one seems to want to believe or take action and when i take action myself, i get scolded for it by those who i hold dear.
i shouldn't have to feel mentally healthy only at school and work.
why must i suffer because i wanna be myself?

Will & Harper2024

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I laughed, i cried, its a beautifull documentary about a trans woman and her friend on a cross country road trip trying to face fears and challenges.
Idk but will and harper have such natural chemistry.

Will & Harper2024

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Will Ferrell and Harper Steele, who had both worked together at Saturday Night Live, come together to discuss Harper's transition and the obstacles she has faced to feel accepted in the world.

Harper is known to travel often across the country, stopping in bars and towns along the way. However, during those times, she was traveling as her former self, and is now taking to the road with Ferrell to see if others will welcome her as she now is. Along the way, they meet with family members as well as with some familiar faces. They also visit some very, very small towns where the results may surprise you. Brush politics and beliefs aside, and go into this film with an open mind, ready to laugh and sympathize with someone (part of a large group of people) who are struggling just to be accepted into a society that shuns them based on looks, not as the human being(s) they are.

This is not your average buddy road trip movie. It's a movie with purpose and soul, but more about discovering and sharing one's true self. Also, it highlights the incredibly funny friendship between the two, this time with Ferrell stepping away from the spotlight to allow Harper to tell her story, so don't expect Ferrell to be his big screen self, although he does crack tons of funny jokes to lighten the mood (and it works).

Overall, it's very touching, and you will most likely shed many tears as you hear about how all of this has affected her life.

Will & Harper2024

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