I've existed almost 18 years on this dumbass planet which is not long but this year i technical become an adult as i turn 18 in october.
Looking back at my full childhood, there is a lot of loneliness but also fun memories.
I never really was a people person even tho i had some friends in elementary school. Sometimes it feels like i wasted my time and i am partially scared of the end.
But does our time of fun really end when we become an adult or is that just a cynical outlook on it?
Anyway, one of my most cherished memories is being obsessive over pokemon around like 10 to 13.
I would watch the same 3 seasons of the anime repeatedly which were the first ever season, black and white and the one with ash greninjia.
Sometimes i would like to go back to those memories but they only exist in my mind and to chase them i would just run backwards seeking nostalgia and being blind to the future but i can end it, end it this year as best as i can.
Sometimes i like to dip my toes in nostalgia but most of the time it makes me feel empty. But i also don't want to act like a kid forever or be the same person i was years ago.
By watching this movie it allowed to look back but also write and think about whats gonna happen to me, will i be a beloved auteur director or will i be shot while walking the streets at night?
The film itself is charming while cheezy at time.
But i watched more so as a means of reflection on my life up to this point.
(Watch my feature film <a href="https://boxd.it/cQ1mBp">boxd.it/cQ1mBp</a> )
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